I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
