I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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