Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
