dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Small penises have feelings too.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
