either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
