We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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