we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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