Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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