Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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