The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Can you repeat that, but with context?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize