I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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