I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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