what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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