we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
