I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
