Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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