I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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