now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just had sex bonerless
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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