Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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