When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
