i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We need to rekindle our bromance
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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