still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
