I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Houston, we have a squirter
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
