apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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