I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
