she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize