I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
