I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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