I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
