If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just forgot I was standing up.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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