Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
