i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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