I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
