Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
