did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I could make wine with my vomit
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
