College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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