i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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