I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
