im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
