I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
