im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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