my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
