they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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