"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
