Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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