How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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