oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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