Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Still dying that you shit outside
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
