if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
