I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize