I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
