I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
