I'm eating all of the evidence.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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