It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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