hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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