i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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