Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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