You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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