I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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