Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
