What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
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